Saturday, October 29, 2011

Dear Nonhle

Dear Nonhle

These are things that I am not:

1. A fan
2. Broke

These are things that I am:

1. Tired of being subjected to your incoherent and misspelt rants retweeted all over my timeline.
2. Bored of you

Despite my best efforts I am unable to avoid you so I thought I'd help you out with a concise list of investment ideas for your insurmountable wealth:

1. An education and/or spellcheck
2. A reputable manager that can salvage your career
3. Mood stabilising medication
4. A comfy chair so that you can sit down
5. A getaway car for when one of your 'broke ass fans', who you constantly insult, tries to take you out (and I don't mean on a date)

Now, these are things that your money can't buy you:

1. A clue
2. A friend who is honest enough to tell you how insufferable you are
3. Talent

In a country divided by haves and have nots, you straddle a fine line. You're rich but you're poverty stricken when it comes to class. Just one more thing your money can't buy you.

So, Nonhle, I think Bheki Cele said it best, 'Shut up'.

Yours sincerely,
Jo

P.S. You may be rich but some poor person who spent R10 on a Lotto ticket will be 3 times richer than you tonight. Perspective?

8 comments:

  1. You wrote it in far too many characters than 140, and you clearly don't need grammar-check. So I doubt she'll make sense of this.

    Dumb it down to MXit lingo.

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  2. I totally agree with Mongezi, this shall pass over her head. But great insights.

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  3. I think she is just doing all of this for attention and to boost her dying career, and i hate to say it but its working. So many people are noticing about her now. I guess any publicity is good publicity...

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  4. Seems like she is tired of taking nonsense and "advice" from so called fans.....She is finally saying VOERTSEK!!!! So what?? Let her be...She is also human after all.

    VOERTSEK!!! VOERTSEK!!!

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  5. I just love this post. Fuck Nonhle Thema. She doesn't have talent what-so-ever. She just got lucky by going to hollywood but thinks she's the ish now. She must compare herself to real celebs that go to LA to work like Terry Pheto. This article is great, not that her dumb self would understand it anyway *RollingEyes*

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  6. This article laugh really hard! Nonhle should "SIT DOWN" herself, such a attitude will cause her sooner than later demise(career wise). Great post!

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  7. Who the f*** is Nonhle?

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  8. Nonhle is sooo hot. grrrrrr

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